Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Poopy Pants

Warning: This post is about baby poop…skip it if you don’t care to know the wonderful particulars of baby poop.

I know there is an exceptionally large amount of discussion of poop in this blog, but let’s face the facts. Baby’s poop. It’s what we do…it’s what we’re good at…So to leave it out of the dialogue when I’m simply trying to convey a typical day in the life of a baby (me) would be totally wrong.

So now that I’m on whole foods, I’m no longer having ‘blowouts’ as I’ve stated before… meaning poop out the back of my pants, out the front, through the sides of the leg holes to my diapers…is no longer an issue. Which is all very good…very good for Mom and Dad. The reason for this is obviously clear: solid foods = solid poop [sorry]. But I have a new problem and its far worse, in my opinion…Every time I take care of my biz, it’s very uncomfortable and I look at my Mom with a beet-red face and a pitiful look like, ‘HELP ME!’ Then I start crying really hard…I don’t like the feel of it! Mom always tries to comfort me, telling me its okay because it’s just poopy, but it’s not okay! Even worse than the discomfort is having it sit in my pants like a pile of rocks until Mom and Dad figures out that it’s there. Hello, Mom and Dad…I’m packing heat (carrying a loaded weapon). Get a move on, pronto, and take care of it!…So, this big-boy poopy business stinks!...

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