Dear Santa,
I'm not sure if you read blogs and normally children contact you by way of mail to the North Pole, but I figured since you're all-knowing 'omni-present', you or your helper elves would be up with the times and read this eventually...
I just wanted to say that I'm impressed. You've lived up to your reputation as the generous fat guy that gives really cool gifts to everyone on Christmas Eve. I was skeptical about the whole 'down the chimney' thing and the 'flying around the world in one night' thing that just seemed absurd, but you've pulled it off and now I'm sold. The presents you gave me totally rocked...I really like the glowing seahorse that sings lullaby's that I now sleep with every night (don't tell anyone about that). I also really liked the toy hammer, the Gaba Gaba stocking stuffers, the giant toy snake to go in my jungle room, and so on. I was honestly a little disappointed to not get the mini Hummer that I so desperately wanted so I could be a P.I.M.P., but I completely understand...with the slump in the economy and everything, even you have been hit pretty hard too...you can bring that to me next year when times are a little better.
I gave you a hard time before Christmas because you stood me up at the mall and when we finally did meet up, you scared the 'poo' out of me because of your freaky clothes and beard. But I just want to say I was wrong to judge. It wasn't right of me to pick on you for wearing red velvet with fur trimming and putting curly-cues in your long straggly beard. We all get suckered into wearing things we don't want to wear...my Mom does that to me all the time. And I shouldn't pick on you because of your round bowl full of jelly belly...I mean, we big guys have to stick together and have each others back! I was wrong and I apologize. I look forward to next Christmas Eve and you can be sure to expect a huge spread of cookies of all sorts when you make a visit to my crib...
Keep it real, Santa.
Love,
Heston
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