Santa is the Bomb!!!

Dear Santa,
I'm not sure if you read blogs and normally children contact you by way of mail to the North Pole, but I figured since you're all-knowing 'omni-present', you or your helper elves would be up with the times and read this eventually...

I just wanted to say that I'm impressed. You've lived up to your reputation as the generous fat guy that gives really cool gifts to everyone on Christmas Eve. I was skeptical about the whole 'down the chimney' thing and the 'flying around the world in one night' thing that just seemed absurd, but you've pulled it off and now I'm sold. The presents you gave me totally rocked...I really like the glowing seahorse that sings lullaby's that I now sleep with every night (don't tell anyone about that). I also really liked the toy hammer, the Gaba Gaba stocking stuffers, the giant toy snake to go in my jungle room, and so on. I was honestly a little disappointed to not get the mini Hummer that I so desperately wanted so I could be a P.I.M.P., but I completely understand...with the slump in the economy and everything, even you have been hit pretty hard too...you can bring that to me next year when times are a little better.

I gave you a hard time before Christmas because you stood me up at the mall and when we finally did meet up, you scared the 'poo' out of me because of your freaky clothes and beard. But I just want to say I was wrong to judge. It wasn't right of me to pick on you for wearing red velvet with fur trimming and putting curly-cues in your long straggly beard. We all get suckered into wearing things we don't want to wear...my Mom does that to me all the time. And I shouldn't pick on you because of your round bowl full of jelly belly...I mean, we big guys have to stick together and have each others back! I was wrong and I apologize. I look forward to next Christmas Eve and you can be sure to expect a huge spread of cookies of all sorts when you make a visit to my crib...

Keep it real, Santa.

Love,
Heston

My First Christmas Present

My Gaga and Papa (my great grandparents) came over on Sunday to visit and they came bearing gifts and some of them were for me! These were my first Christmas presents and I think I could get use to this gift receiving thing...The first was a lime green, baby blue, and taupe striped sweater with a hoodie hand-knit by Gaga. It's really cool and of course I look great it in...it's hard not to, when you look this good! I wore it for my little visit with Santa. The second was a stuffed animal...a monkey that makes a funny noise, B-O-O-O-I-I-I-N-G!!!, when it's dropped on the floor. I love it and so do the crazy greyhounds. Dad busted one of them trying to steal it and she got in trouble. Those hounds...they're something else. But the monkey is fine...Dad saved it just in time because they can shred poor helpless stuffed animals in the matter of seconds. Mom found one of her childhood stuffed piggies with it's insides spilling out...Dad laughed and Mom cried. Luckily, they didn't do that to my new toy...They would have been TOAST! Mom gave them a stuffed lambie for an early Christmas gift so they wouldn't feel left out, since I keep getting all of these new tempting toys that they want for themselves. I'll probably steal it from them because it looks fun to chew on and I just might tear it to shreds too! My chompers are coming in at rapid speed and boy are they sharp!

Santa is SCARY!!!

Well, I did it. I went to see Santa. It was an experience, that's for
sure. We briefly waited in line this afternoon...there wasn't much of a
crowd because all of the church go-ers were just starting to trickle in to the mall by the time we were in line. Mom and Dad, playing 'hookie' once more, came early to avoid the post-church crowds(sinners)so the line was practically nonexistent. There was one little girl and a two teenagers ahead of me. I could hear the first little girl crying while she was on Santa's lap...that should have been my cue right there to leave immediately. But no...Mom pushed my stroller up to the front, picked me up, and then plopped me down on that scary man's lap. I turned and took one good look at him and started crying. I don't like your beard, man, your outfit, or those round rosy cheeks of yours. I still want your presents and everything, but just put me down! And let me add that the loud red velvet get-up with white fur and poorly kept white beard isn't exactly flattering. Everyone knows that velvet isn't slimming and adds a couple [hundred] pounds! (I learned that after Mom made me wear my red and white outfit to my school Christmas program.)

So needless to say, it didn't make for the most precious photos for my baby album...don't get me wrong...I still looked incredibly adorable of course, but I've done better because I had a little bit of the 'deer caught in the headlights' look going on. I was sporting my snazzy new stripped sweater that my Gaga made me for Christmas and my blue hat that my Great Nana made me, so that helped the cuteness factor a little...

...hopefully next year will be a better experience IF I choose to visit the big guy again...

(pictures to be posted soon!)

A Baby Christmas Party

You can see a few of my girlfriends in this video from my school
Christmas party...as you can tell, I was playing it cool trying to look
uninterested, but don't be deceived...I was working my game for sure! Watch how I ever-so-casually roll into Kate 'on accident' in the second clip.' Smooth, right?!

Santa Let Me Down!

I went to see the fat man in red yesterday at the mall with my Mom...I was so excited because I wanted to tell him what I wanted for Christmas and maybe tug his white beard a few times (I love to pull hair!). I mostly wanted to meet the big man, (A.K.A. Santa Claus, Papa Noel, Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Chris Kringle, Grandfather Frost, etc.) that I've heard so much about! And, of course, Mom wanted to get a picture of me on his lap for the photo album. BUT Jolly Old St. Nick was MIA...His helper elf said that he was on a break...Mom thinks a smoke break...but he wasn't going to be back until 3:00 and I had my Christmas Party at my school at 3:00, so we couldn't wait around. We will try again tomorrow with the crowds, but if I don't get to see him, I won't be happy! He can forget Christmas cookies and milk waiting for him on Christmas eve...I'll only leave a few carrots for the reindeer instead ('cause I can't make them pay for his mistakes)...do you think they'd like my pureed baby food carrots? I'd like to find a way to get rid of those nasty things anyway...I might leave a few jars out for them to see if we have any takers...

Poopy Pants

Warning: This post is about baby poop…skip it if you don’t care to know the wonderful particulars of baby poop.

I know there is an exceptionally large amount of discussion of poop in this blog, but let’s face the facts. Baby’s poop. It’s what we do…it’s what we’re good at…So to leave it out of the dialogue when I’m simply trying to convey a typical day in the life of a baby (me) would be totally wrong.

So now that I’m on whole foods, I’m no longer having ‘blowouts’ as I’ve stated before… meaning poop out the back of my pants, out the front, through the sides of the leg holes to my diapers…is no longer an issue. Which is all very good…very good for Mom and Dad. The reason for this is obviously clear: solid foods = solid poop [sorry]. But I have a new problem and its far worse, in my opinion…Every time I take care of my biz, it’s very uncomfortable and I look at my Mom with a beet-red face and a pitiful look like, ‘HELP ME!’ Then I start crying really hard…I don’t like the feel of it! Mom always tries to comfort me, telling me its okay because it’s just poopy, but it’s not okay! Even worse than the discomfort is having it sit in my pants like a pile of rocks until Mom and Dad figures out that it’s there. Hello, Mom and Dad…I’m packing heat (carrying a loaded weapon). Get a move on, pronto, and take care of it!…So, this big-boy poopy business stinks!...

I can Babble!

Christmas Babies

Watch Ms. Ruthia, the lady in green, who is holding me...We get DOWN!

My Big Debut as a Performer

School Christmas Program

I've finally had my big debut on stage as a performer...something I've been waiting my whole life for! Since Mom says Dad is very dramatic, I've got the genes for this sort of thing! With my smoldering good looks, my luscious red locks, and my obvious talent, you've got yourself the next Brad Pitt with red hair! So my school Christmas program was this evening and Mom and Dad didn't even know about it until last night and they almost missed the big production! AND...I would have been the only baby without a red and green outfit on if they hadn't accidentally found out about it late yesterday. Mom had to scramble to find me a Christmas outfit last minute at the mall after I went to bed. She got me a slick white and red velvet pants suit with red plaid argyle patterns on the shirt. Now that's class! Mom even bought another outfit...a green plaid collared shirt and white sweater vest with argyle as a back-up in case I had a blowout in my other one while I was at school. Please, Mom, I haven't had a complete poop explosion since I've been on whole foods...

Picking Up Chicks...

When my Mom came in to get me at my Daycare after work yesterday, she walked in on me flirting with the chubby blondie in my class. She was rolling around in front of me and I was in the process of giving her one of my irresistible grins and reaching out to pinch those chubby cheeks of hers when Mom walked in. Man, you're ruining my game, Mom! But I admit I was happy to see Mom after a long day away from her...

So I slept through the night last night and no doggies woke my Mom up this time...just Dad...so we all got a pretty good nights sleep!

I can sit! I know I said I could do this before, but technically it was a little fib...Mom and Dad realized I could only sit with a little support from my bouncy seat. But now, I can really do it but I'm a little wobbly...Mom proped me up in a tripod position and from there, I learned to balance my head and back. I think having all my chub on my lower half helps me stay propped up without much effort!

Separation Anxiety

It's official...I've started getting separation anxiety. I don't like it when my parents leave me...Especially at my daycare two days a week! Last week, when Dad dropped me off, I got upset, but Dad wasn't sure if it was just a coincidence that I cried when he left. But this morning, the minute my caretaker came in the room and picked me up, I REALLY cried! Then Dad took me back and I instantly turned off the waterworks and gave my teacher the pouty lip (I can turn it off and on when it suits my needs). No offense, lady, I like you and all but I like my Daddy better!

Me & My Juice

I can hold my bottle with one hand! Now that's talent right there...and look at me, I'm dressed like a candycane!

Snack Time: Drinking Juice and Eating Socks

I forgot to announce my very impressive new skill! I can hold a bottle all by myself...this is a big deal for Mom because I will lay on the floor and keep myself content as I sip away on my juice for at least 20 minutes. This bottle idea is something my Gram (formerly known as Nana) discovered when she came over to babysit the week before Thanksgiving. Mom had no clue that I was capable of such a feat, so she had never tried! Now I get juice and a snack between meals...the more calories the better, so I can keep my weight up...I've unfortunately dropped to the 80th percentile for weight and can't afford to slack off on the eating...I need to keep up my reputation as a big redheaded bruiser! Maybe I'll introduce protein shakes to my diet to help pack on the lbs. Luckily, I'm in the 90% for height...

So, I like to eat my socks. This sock eating thing has become a regular thing for me over the past few months...although it seemed harmless to my parents, this time I gave Mom a real scare! She put me to bed for a nap yesterday and when I woke up, I pitched a fit so my Mom would know I was ready for her to come get me out of my crib. While waiting for her, I decided to chew on my sock to kill some time. I managed to get the WHOLE sock stuffed (completely crammed!) in my mouth by the time Mom came upstairs and into my room. Mom quickly took the wadded up wet sock out of my mouth and wouldn't give it back. Needless to say, she's been taking my socks off for naps since then. I guess they make those pj's with built-in footies for a reason! Problem is, I keep outgrowing them so quickly!

Christmas Tree Shopping

Mom, Dad, and I went Christmas tree shopping this weekend! It was very exciting, but I was a little cold! I was bundled up in my cool 'motor cross' jacket that my Aunt Lara and Grammie gave me, so that helped a little. But we tried to go the weekend before and I had a meltdown at Walmart when my parents went to get bungee cords to strap the tree down with. After the meltdown, they decided we better get the tree another time. So a week later, and halfway through the month of December, we finally have a tree...and it was finally decorated last night. And it will be taken down in two weeks, so really it's a lot of work for minimal enjoyment (that's Mom talking). Dad decorated the small synthetic tree with colored lights and his mini ornaments, trying to out-do Mom's 'fancy' tree with white lights and silver & gold decorations. Dad thinks I will like his tree better one day because of the various Disney, Warner Bros., Star Wars, Sesame Street, Misfit Toys, and many other cute mini ornaments and Mom reminds him that she bought most of those ornaments for him, so technically it's HER tree! Those two..I tell ya, they are a handful! But Mom also grumbles because Dad's tree takes five minutes and Mom's tree takes hours. Right now, I don't know the difference, except they are both shiny and have things that look fun to chew on...

Baby Food Not Made By Mom = Good Food!

My mom bought me baby food from the store yesterday because of her
failed attempt to get me to eat her homemade food. Let me tell you, it
was delicious! It was much better than the cooked carrots, sweet peas,
and cooked egg yolk that she tried to feed me AGAIN the other day. Dad
said he couldn't blame me...he wouldn't like it either if he had to eat
it. When I refused to swallow the mashed up nastiness that is her
cooking for the third time, she threw in the towel and bought a
delightful assortment of food in jars...winter squash, sweet potatoes,
bananas, pears, peaches, pumpkins with pears, peas, oatmeal, carrots, carrots and tomatoes, veggie blends, prunes, you name it. It rocks! I've tried a few already and I didn't vomit ! Unfortunately, mom also bought a bunch of stuff to try cooking again because she wants to do it better this time...Give it up lady! You can't make me eat it...

So thanks to the new food added to my diet, my diaper changes are that much more interesting because my parent's reactions are priceless! Cause and effect, people...what goes in, must come out...And it ain't roses...

Sleeping Through the Night!

I slept through the night without even stirring once! I’ve done this twice before, but it’s a momentous occasion because I didn’t even wake up to ‘root around’ as my Gaga and Grammie would say. Mom and Dad didn’t wake up either, because they didn’t hear any noise on the monitor. I was just so tired from a full day at my School yesterday… Ms. Ruthia, my caretaker at the CDC, said that I was clingy all day and pitched a fit every time she put me down…Yes, embarrassing but true…I was a little bit of a baby. I hope the girls in my class didn’t see! But I wasn’t feeling too great because I had my shots (and the ‘unmentionable’, but we won’t go there) the day before at my doctor’s appointment and I have a mouthful of teef coming in, so who could blame me?

So I unfortunately missed my midnight snack that I love so much, but Mom and Dad deserve a little break I suppose. If it weren’t for the greyhounds that woke Mom up from pacing around the room because one of them had to potty, it would have been the FIRST full night’s sleep Mom would have had in a year! (No exaggeration…6 months of sleepless pregnancy and 6 months of baby). Those twiggy-legged doggies got in trouble AGAIN! Man, those two know how make Mom and Dad mad…Mom wants to know if anyone would like a new puppy? We have two up for grabs...

My Bits and Pieces

I had my 6 month checkup today and it wasn't very fun...it was quite awful, actually. Everything was going fine at first...The nurse came in and made me drop trou, which was all great fun because I love to get naked. (She said we will have to have a talk about that one day when I'm 17). But anyway, I was squealing and bouncing around because I was in the buff (except for my diaper) and then the doc came in. She then proceeded to check my ears, lungs, measure my big head, ask mom a bunch of questions, etc. No problem...I can handle it. She started to push and prod my tummy, to make sure all my insides were healthy and normal, and then she opened my diaper to have 'a peak'. Oh no she didn't! She did the routine check...easy on the jewels, woman!...and then she told me that I wasn't going to like this. HUH??? What she did next, I can't begin to describe, but it hurt BAD and I cried! Then the nurse came back in and I had to get four shots on my squishy marshmallow legs and I cried even harder! Due to the traumatic experience, Mom's pampering me all day. Thank goodness I don't have to go back for another checkup for three months and when I do, I'm not letting that doctor near my junk!

Mushy Peas

Mom was very proud of herself because she cooked up a storm trying to prepare natural and homemade baby food for me yesterday. She cooked sweet peas because several people told her that it’s a good food for babies to start out on, baby carrots, and egg yolk. She pureed each food separately and then packaged them up and put them in the fridge. Once it was time for my dinner, she pulled out the sweet peas, heated them up, and then attempted to feed them to me. NASTY!!! The minute the food touched my mouth, I grimaced and refused to swallow and left the mushy green gunk stuck to the top of my mouth. When I finally did swallow and mom tried to feed me a few more spoonfuls, I was so disgusted, I vomited the peas & the milk I drank earlier. Then I started crying…Feed that to me again, lady, and I will seriously freak out!

Mmmmm...Teething Biscuits are Good!

My Mom gave me these cool organic teething biscuits and I love them! I'm a little young to have them, but because I have so many new teeth coming in at such an early age and I've been so cranky (more than usual, that is), she made an exception. My previous announcement that I have two new top teeth coming in is actually incorrect...I have three, maybe four! Two front teeth and one on the side have already started breaking through and I potentially have one more on the other side, but you can't see it yet. But anyway, Mom watches me and makes sure any big pieces I brake off with my teeth get taken away and she feeds them to the doggy who now hovers around me every time I chew on them! My snack, doggy, not yours!